Will Smith's Wisdom

Every Woman Should By Maya Angelou

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .......

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a feeling of control over her destiny...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship....

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Recession Discoveries

We've all heard the word "recession" at least a million times in the last few years. It has been tough for many including myself. Money slowed up drastically. People lost their job and homes. Majority of us had to change our lifestyle to fit the times. It got so bad that white people saw a black man as some sort of Saviour to this country, Obama. None of us saw that coming and I still think I am dreaming sometimes when I realize we have a black President.

I have discovered so many things about myself and others in these low economic times. I was one of those people who was living far above my means. I needed everything designer, (although I have always went to sample sales as well) then I realized the clothes and things didn't make me, I made them. I can put on a $10 shirt instead of a $100 one and you wouldn't know because of the way I carry myself. I take care of "myself" more. Meaning, instead of getting those pedicures, manicures and waxes weekly, I get them monthly and maintain it myself. I polish my own nails! Wow! Who knew? I hadn't polished my own nails in 10 years and I love to do it :) I wax my own self! No way! I actually use coupons when grocery shopping and catch sales! Incredible! Before, I would just frivolously buy what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I have saved thousands on just these items alone. So now that money is flowing normally again for me, I am a new person, more grateful. More smart. Knowing the difference between need and want. Don't get me wrong, If I see something expensive I just "can't live without", I'll buy it. But that is rare.

One thing I have learned from one my super rich friends, not a thousandaire lol but a billionaire, is home and travel is everything. You wouldn't even know he has money if it wasn't for his houses in Malibu and Brentwood. He drives an old beat up 1992 Range Rover. lol But he drives it to his mansion. He could have any car he chooses! You would never know he was filthy rich if you saw him. He is very frugal and I admire that. Why spend a lot of money on stupid stuff when you can use it to travel the world vacationing when time permits? I'm turned off by men who walk around with diamonds like Liberace. It's a clown suit for chicken heads. All a man needs is a nice watch and be clean cut.

Also what I have learned is who my real friends are. Hard times show peoples true colors. Being my friend when it's popular to be, is so predictable. But when the shit hits the fan, who really has your back? Not those tag along, plus 1's, coat tail riding, fair weather, users, bullshyters, so called BFF's that claimed ya'll were ride or die. They expose themselves and quickly. Family too. On to the next person they can benefit from they go! They are like rats trying to get cheese. I thank the recession for revealing who those people were in my life. Now I have a clean slate with nothing but people whom have my best interest because they have shown me, when I had nothing to offer them but my friendship, that they love me. You can only see that when the smoke clears. It separated the real from the fake and I thank God for it. Never judge by actions, but by intentions.

So I see the recession as a BLESSING. I was forced to come up with new solutions versus waiting to get booked for a job. I'm not a good waiter. I would be waiting tables if I liked to wait. I have always had a leader, entrepreneur spirit. With that said, I have taken what I have learned over the years, and a applied it with some great resources/like-minds and 2010 will be the best year of my life! Hopefully you too will see the true benefits of this so-called recession and take the bull by it's horns.

ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE.

My Vacation In Rio De Janerio

What can I say.... It was everything! For a whole week it was fun, exciting, relaxing, sexy, steaming hot with a hint of danger and very spiritual. I'll begin with the hotel...

We stayed in a HUGE suite at the Fasano :) It's a fairly new luxury hotel (maybe 2 years old) with every amenity imaginable. Beyonce and Alicia Keys had just left a couple days before we got there. They were there shooting a video together. Madonna, Lourdes, and Jesus (her boy toy lol) were staying there while we were there. Somehow people found out that Madonna was in the building and all hell broke loose. It was like TRL outside of the hotel with screaming fans right outside my damn balcony for 2 days! It was madness and Madonna had a huge bodyguard entourage every where she went. I just got a glimpse of her but I have met her once before already in LA so it wasn't a big deal to me. Well.. maybe just a little lol! But yes, the hotel was amazing, especially the infinity rooftop pool. We chilled up there a lot getting a head start on my tan for 2010. Nicole Scherzinger (pussy cat dolls) frequented the pool often as well. It felt so good to get some R&R far far away.



The Rio Carnival was way more than I anticipated. It was breath-taking! The day we arrived I was thinking people would be all over the streets dancing but I now know, that is the Trinidad Carnival. This carnival is held annually at the Sambodromo specifically built for this occasion. The parade goes on for HOURS each day. At least 9 hours. Unbelievable, right? It's different parades per school and each float tells a story. We were standing there and the parade ended after about an hour and a half. I was like wow, that was beautiful! I'm thinking it was over but no one was leaving. About a half hour later, a complete new parade with a total new theme started! So you'd better had a comfortable seat or some comfortable shoes because you could easily be there all day. One float with more wow factor than the last. It keep going and going like the energizer bunny lol. Needless to say we were wore out because we did two days for about 4-5 hours. But it was well worth it... to see all the work they put into this amazing affair. My favorite parade was the King and Queen, Royalty type theme, especially Cleopatra and her servants!!! I took so many pics I don't even know where to begin to add them...

It's like the whole city gets involved. If you are from Rio, 9 times out of 10 you have participated in the Carnival because it is such a prideful event with lots of heart! I felt so blessed to witness the BIGGEST Carnival in the world.

It also has it's religious connection... 40 days before Easter. It officially starts on Saturday and finishes on Fat Tuesday with the beginning of Lent on Ash Wednesday after which one is supposed to abstain from all bodily pleasures. Carnival with all its excesses, celebrated as a profane event, can be considered an act of farewell to the pleasures of the flesh. I'm not Catholic though so I won't be giving up anything :)

So after experiencing the spirit and soul of the city, we did some more relaxing by the pool, then spa pampering, then shopping, then sight-seeing. I'm realizing right now that we never made it to the beach. It was just steps away but the pool was too nice and it had waiters lol! Next time!

Our last day there, we were so in the moment. The beauty of God was everywhere! In the birds, the people, the sea, in us. We were high on life and thanking GOD for all his blessings!! The next step was to go see why they call this city, The City Of God.


My favorite part of the trip was seeing the "Christ The Redeemer" statue. It was so high in the sky! Think Empire State building high, but wayyyyyy higher! We took a trolley type train that was hanging from wires up the mountain. It was a lot of Asian tourists on there. Our ears were popping and it literally looked like we were on an airplane by the view with the clouds eye level to us. Up and up we go til we finally reached the top. My friend Ann couldn't breathe well because of the thinness of the air. It was so hot that morning, like 90 degrees at 10am. Plus we had not been to sleep the night before because we wanted to sleep on the airplane back home. (15 hour flight) It had been a very spiritual morning because we watched the sunrise and was leaving that night so we took it all in.

Christ The Redeemer is a MUST SEE. No pictures will ever do it any justice. It is by far one of those things that should be on your bucket list. It was built in the 1920's but I still can't figure out how they got it up there Or how they worked so high in the sky, especially back then. It took 9 years to build and it only cost them $250,000. Amazing! I wonder how much something like that would cost today... If you want to learn more about it click here.

We were deliriously happy and giggly. It was the best time I had had in a long while. With the everyday hustle of life you forget sometimes what's important. Paying attention to GOD's signs and living in the moment is the beginning of a spiritual rewarding life. All work and no play makes anyone dull. Take time to actually hear the waves crash and the birds sing! I was well overdue and it was just what the doctor ordered. I feel so refreshed and new. I feel like I am back on my spiritual path :) I can go on and on about this trip but that would be a book in itself. Bottom line it was AMAZING.

Here's a video of me doing the "Samba" on the trolley type train that was hanging on wires in the air on our way to see Christ The Redeemer at 9 AM... With the Samba, from which I learned from a Brazilian at Carnival, it really is about the fancy footwork but you can't see it in this video unfortunately. I heard drums and had to dance! I have other vids I recorded of the parade and other things but for some reason it won't let me download. I'll take it as a "sign" that it's not really significant at this point. Enjoy...



Til my next adventure...

Californication

I just realized that this week marks my 10 year anniversary of being in California. Wow... Time flew by. Faster than you can sneeze I went from a starry eyed little girl to seasoned vet. I have my doctorate in 'Hollywood'. I came here on a mission with faith in God and myself. Since then, I have been in movies, tv shows, videos, commercials, magazines and billboards. I have walked red carpets and befriended some of your favorite actors, actresses and singers, gone to some of the most exclusive parties and have fallen in love and gotten married. My memoirs will be INSANE. The stories I will tell my children and grandchildren... I look back and I smile because I knew absolutely no one when I came here. Fearless. All I had was $2,500 and a dream. Now I have a whole new life I created.

I remember telling my family and my friends at the hair salon I worked at in Chicago, that I was moving to California. Everyone was excited for me. I couldn't wait. Once I saw myself on the big screen at the premiere of "Soul Food", that was pretty much it. I had been bitten by the bug. I had already been taking acting classes and had booked a commercial there, so I knew the residuals would hold me over for a while. So if I was going to leave, NOW was the time. I did leave, well me and one of my good friends (and client) at the time, Tiffany, drove all the way to Cali, listening to Wyclef's "Gone til November" at least 100 times. lol That was our theme song for the drastic move we were about to make... To make a long story short, she didn't like Cali and moved back to Chicago after a couple months. So there I was. Alone. Me against the world. Ready to take it on.

It has not been a smooth ride thus far and if it was easy everyone would be doing it. I'm so close yet so far away from exactly where I want to be. I've grown a lot mentally, made some mistakes and learned from them. I have sat back and observed. This business is definitely not for the weak or thinned skinned, in fact I think it is the hardest business in the world. Just think about it, if I had put that much time into being a doctor or lawyer I'd be just that, guaranteed. There are no guarantees in Hollywood. So you definitely have to respect anyone who sacrifices their life for their dreams because most people don't have the balls to do it.

I've seen so many people come and go. I've lost some friends who let Hollywood change them and they became intolerable to be around. I've seen some play themselves out on reality shows (for the 15 minutes of famers) and I have seen some, well one particular friend, Kanye, blow up right before my eyes. I still can remember me and him riding on his scooters and no one knew who he was. We were two crazy kid-like gemini's having a blast and he still had his wire in his mouth from that near death car accident. The following year, EVERYONE knew who he was. He is definitely a huge inspiration and no... we were just friends not lovers and he has not changed to this day. He was that arrogant/cocky guy even without the fame and fortune lol! But at the same time he is also a sweet heart. My homie for life and his mother was such a beautiful spirit.

After all these years I am still motivated to go to the next level. I've taken time off here and there to regroup but I'm still here baby. I just booked a commercial so you should be seeing that soon and I am finishing up a script I have been working on all year. I gave myself a deadline sense I am my own boss. Dec. 31st. Then I will be on to the next one... which is a book. I have a production company now and soon will be producing my own films. I'm also reading other people's scripts because the next project I act on will be the type of project I am very proud of. No need to do just 'any' role anymore. 2010 is looking pretty good. I'm doing it MY WAY.

C'mon Son 7

Inglourious Basterds Screening At The Directors Guild Of America

So I was invited to see a special screening of Inglourious Basterds, a movie I had been wanting to see for quite a while. I even tried to catch the matinée near my house and there were technical difficulties, so the movie was cancelled. Yes I know, weird. So when I got the invite a few days later I was so excited. Especially being moderated by the director, Quentin Tarantino himself. Someone I would give my pinky toe to work with! No but seriously he is one of the best writers and directors of our time and I was absolutely thrilled to get some game from him.

The movie itself was creatively genius, but what more do you expect from a Quentin Tarantino film? From start to finish it had the audience at the edge of their seats with laughter, disgust from the gore, amazing wit and incredible shots. The storyline was top notch. It's like, where the hell does he get these thoughts and plots from? He truly has to be semi-crazy lol, in a good way. I don't want to give away any of the story if you haven't seen it yet but I love love love the ending. Brad Pitt was amazing as usual and you could tell he had a lot of fun making this. Christoph Waltz probably will win an Oscar for his portrayal of Col. Hans Landa.

So after the movie ended, the whole cast joined the stage, including Brad Pitt :):):) Needless to say, I was a VERY happy camper!!!! lol! Whew that man is fine even with a long beard... They all answered questions from the audience filled with people in the business and shared some funny moments during the making of the film. Secrets were shared about certain moments to give us a better understanding of how it is to work with Quentin and how each person got casted. I am so inspired after that. Nothing like a great movie to get your creative juices and motivation flowing again. That moment put jumper cables on my dream. It was better than going to the premiere.

Bottom line if you have not seen this movie yet, run and see it asap!!!! Especially if you are bored with the same old non-risk taking film making.

Lil Wayne Documentary Trailer - The Carter

I remember hearing something about... Lil Wayne being upset because he looked like a drug addict in the documentary and he tried to get it shelved. I guess it didn't work because it will be coming out Nov 17th thanks to QD3 Entertainment. QD3 is responsible for all those "Beef" DVDs. Looks interesting I must say, even though I kind of stopped feeling Wayne when he went into autotune mode but I'm sure one ridiculously insane 8 bars from him and I'll be a fan again... Get your pre-orders here.

Rihanna On 20/20

Sounds a little to me like she went to professional counseling to help her deal with this. Which is great because her head is super clear. I'm so happy she finally spoke out about the abuse and I am extremely happy she had the strength to leave that whole situation not just for herself but for the 100's of young girls who are going through the same thing. We all know once a beater, always a beater. I only posted the most important parts of the interview. Check it out and pass it along.

Sizzle: A Global Warming Comedy

If you are in New York this weekend, Friday Oct. 23rd 2009, you don't want to miss the premiere screening of Sizzle: A Global Warming Comedy. It was co-produced/co-written by my long time friend Ifeanyi Njoku. I've seen it already and it is HYSTERICAL with a message! Say you are a friend of mine or you heard about it on Doll House and you will have free entrance. For location and details click here. Oh there is an after party sponsored by Ciroc. I don't have the location yet but check back here for an update.

Here's the trailer:

If You're Not Married, You're Single

I agree with a lot of this.  It makes sense.  I never understood the whole being with a guy for 5-10 years without an engagement or marriage but having all his babies thing. Not judging just never understood it.

Chris Rock's Documentary - Good Hair

About time this is being addressed... I can't wait to see it. Looks Interesting...

Whitney Houston's Oprah Interview

In case you missed it...
Part 1


Part 2

Playboy Mansion Party For The Espy's

So I get an invitation to a party hosted at the Playboy Mansion for an Espy charity event and I decide to go. I'm really glad I did go because it was a great party with new faces. I had sworn off the party scene but charity events bring out a different crowd. I've been to every hot annual award show/hot party in every city, I've even traveled abroad for a hot party so I'm not impressed by it all. Been there, done that. So it's safe to say I am over it. I'm not knocking the next person for it, but it's just not my thing anymore. Friends have been wondering where I've been. I'm chilling hard at the crib! lol I only make appearances at charity events, movie premieres, concerts, comedy showcases, personal dinner/house parties, daytime stuff etc etc. I have no purpose to be in the club. I'm not single, so I'm not looking for a man. That's not a good place to meet one anyway. I only want to network. The people I want to connect with aren't in the clubs. Now when I get to Chicago, I might have to go to a Steppers Set because I LOVE to step. Other than that, everything else is played out to me. So to all those club promoters, please stop sending me invites to weekly parties. I'm NOT coming.

Here's a few pics from that night with me and the crew. It was an amazing night. Great food, great people, hot music, open bar, great networking, live entertainment by the Pussy Cat Dolls, all to raise money for various charities!

15 Ways To Keep Your Woman Happy

By Isley Nicole Melton
I'm always seeing list on how to keep your man happy but rarely do I see list on how to keep your women happy. Why is that? It's weird because we can get unhappy and get ghost just as quick as a man can. Here is a list I came up with for married or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Enjoy...

1. Stop Lying!! Some men have this really bad because they will lie about the stupidest things. Such a turn-off. We literally want to have an affair when you lie to our faces. See? Not worth it huh?
2. Actually hear what she has to say rather than just nodding your head like you heard her. We know the difference and do not speak over her when she is trying to get her point across. We hate that.
3. Tell her you love her first. We are the mushy ones most of the time so when you say it first it makes us happy.
4. Surprise her with gifts other than birthdays etc etc. If you are communicating well you know what she likes. Flowers are cool but it's nothing to brag to her friends about.
5. Nothing gets us more excited than spontaneous outings. So take her somewhere she's never been.
6. Take romantic trips as often as possible.
7. Do not stare at other women in her presence. You'll be wondering why you didn't get none that night.
8. Always be a gentleman and open doors. Some men get too comfortable and ease up on this once they got you.
9. Help with the kids and help keep the house clean. A sloppy man is a big turn-off.
10. Take care of yourself. Nothing sexier than a well groomed man. (Not overly though lol) Make use of that gym membership or actually use the gym you have at home.
11. Be attentive and compliment her with sincerity. Notice those new jeans she has on. If you wont someone else will.
12. Be affectionate other times besides sex time.
13. Get your stamina up. That goes back to exercise. No one likes a 5 min lover. Womp Womp...
14. Make sure she has an orgasm every time. A few would be heavenly and master the art of ORAL SEX.
15. Make your woman top priority at all times. If there's something she is not comfortable with, fix it immediately. Happy wife=Happy life.

Bottom line treat her like you would want your mother, sister or daughter to be treated. Nothing less. Feel free to add to the list.

Attraction VS. Turn-Offs

By Isley Nicole

Isn't it funny how the things that attract you to a person, sometime is the same thing that turns you off from that person? I was having a conversation with my girlfriend last night and we were cracking up laughing about past relationships. Here's some instances:

1. You meet a guy and you say, "damn he is such a bad boy!" a year later he is still a bad boy but he is beating your ass and bitch is your new name. OR

2. He is so sensitive, but now he cries all the time and has no spine.

3. He is so creative, but now he is broke because he don't have a business side.

4. He is such a hustler, but now you never see him because he's all about the paper chase.

5. His style is so metro-sexual, but now all your beauty products are being used up by him and he could be gay.

6. He is so funny, but now you can't get him to be serious, EVER.

7. He don't go out to the clubs, but now you are bored out your mind because he doesn't have a fun bone in his body.

8. He's such a man's man, but now he is a chauvinistic pig who secretly hates women and could be gay.

9. He loves his momma to death, but now he involves his momma in any disagreement y'all have. Or he can't make a move without calling momma first.

10. He wants me all too himself, now he is super possessive and accuses you of cheating when you walk out the door.

Same for the fellas! He meets a woman and he says...

1. She's a freak and slept with me right away, but now you are hearing she smashed a few of your homies and gave you the clap.

2. She has huge double F titties, but now they are down to her knees and she ain't even had kids yet.

3. She's super thick, but now she looks like Star Jones pre gastric bypass surgery.

4. She's fine as hell, but now her looks have faded and that's all she had to offer.

5. She's a lot of fun, but now she's still all about who's at the latest hot party and leaves you at home with the kids to be there.

6. She's so smart, but now she corrects everything you say and makes you feel dumb all the time.

7. She makes more money than me, but now she is constantly putting you down and making you feel like a little bitch.

8. She's like one of the home boys, but now she never wears stilettos or is always in sweats.

9. She's such a sweetie, but now you are missing that bitch because you miss the challenge and you can tell the sweetie anything and she'll believe you.

10. She's so gangsta, but now she shot at you 5 times when you tried to leave her. (applies to men too) Or she thinks she can beat you up in a fist fight causing you to go to jail for domestic violence.

These are funny extremes lol but it's really good to look far past your initial attraction. Get to know people before you give your heart. Stop judging a book by it's cover and go deeper. See if there's something else in that person valuable enough to be your significant other. I definitely have learned, most of the time the things you want are not the things you need. Feel free to add more to the list.

Are Black Women Too Loyal To Black Men?

By Isley Nicole
I read a blog today that made me ponder on the loyalty that black women have to black men. It was written as a "joke" but it hit a few nerves by it's offensiveness. It was about the old "Willie Lynch" syndrome, colorism. It also talked about how better white women and others were than black women. As I scrolled down a hundred comments of all these black men, I realized black women have to make some adjustments, and quick. They're our everything, but we are just an option.

It's already an epidemic that 70% of African American women are single. Why is that you say? Because of supply and demand. The black man is in demand because he is open to interracial dating. He'll date and experiment with every color of the rainbow. Then you split up what's left after you count the gays/DL brothers, thugs/incarcerated brothers. There's only a few good ones left and most of them are already taken. The supply is real low.

Single black women are being strung along, played and disrespected because black men know these statistics and prey on it. Black women take a lot of foolishness because they know how hard it is to find a man. But is he a good man? Some may even put up with abusers and cheaters because they look at all their single friends and think to themselves, "At least I have a man". The rest are waiting in vain for that perfect black man to come and sweep them off their feet. I say the hell with waiting. Start dating outside of your race too.

Look at Halle Berry. She gave brothers a whole bunch of chances. Stacey Dash did too. How much do y'all want to bet me that Rihanna will be crossing over real soon. As slim as the pickings are in the normal world, they're even slimmer in celebrity world. Naomi Campbell, Thandie Newton, Diane Carroll, Paula Patton, Iman, Melody Hobson, Kelly Rowland, Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Kerry Washington, Eve, Garcelle Beavais, Beverly Johnson, Kim Wayans, Tracy Bingham, Alfre Woolard, Tracy Edmonds, Venus Williams, Lena Horne, Tina Turner, Sharon Leal, Lisa Bonet, Lynn Whitfield, Debra Wilson, and Whoopi Goldberg to name a few are all with white men now. I'm sure they gave the brothers a chance but were open minded enough to try "something new" when things didn't work out. I have way too many beautiful single girlfriends and I am so exhausted with hearing all these sob stories.

If I was single I'd try a different scene because "other" men give me an equal amount of attention as black men. Especially white men. They think I am exquisite. Which I am. But I have yet to try them out. I never really was attracted to them but I have met some nice ones as of lately... My lover is black and he adores me as well but if he mess up.... ha!

So ladies, I'm not saying stop dating black men altogether, just stop being so loyal to these guys. Watch YOUR demand go up once they see sisters are no longer waiting for them to make a decision. Date like they do and you might find your soul mate quicker than you'd imagine.

To the brothers... I love y'all so don't take this the wrong way. Just calling it like I see it.