Californication

I just realized that this week marks my 10 year anniversary of being in California. Wow... Time flew by. Faster than you can sneeze I went from a starry eyed little girl to seasoned vet. I have my doctorate in 'Hollywood'. I came here on a mission with faith in God and myself. Since then, I have been in movies, tv shows, videos, commercials, magazines and billboards. I have walked red carpets and befriended some of your favorite actors, actresses and singers, gone to some of the most exclusive parties and have fallen in love and gotten married. My memoirs will be INSANE. The stories I will tell my children and grandchildren... I look back and I smile because I knew absolutely no one when I came here. Fearless. All I had was $2,500 and a dream. Now I have a whole new life I created.

I remember telling my family and my friends at the hair salon I worked at in Chicago, that I was moving to California. Everyone was excited for me. I couldn't wait. Once I saw myself on the big screen at the premiere of "Soul Food", that was pretty much it. I had been bitten by the bug. I had already been taking acting classes and had booked a commercial there, so I knew the residuals would hold me over for a while. So if I was going to leave, NOW was the time. I did leave, well me and one of my good friends (and client) at the time, Tiffany, drove all the way to Cali, listening to Wyclef's "Gone til November" at least 100 times. lol That was our theme song for the drastic move we were about to make... To make a long story short, she didn't like Cali and moved back to Chicago after a couple months. So there I was. Alone. Me against the world. Ready to take it on.

It has not been a smooth ride thus far and if it was easy everyone would be doing it. I'm so close yet so far away from exactly where I want to be. I've grown a lot mentally, made some mistakes and learned from them. I have sat back and observed. This business is definitely not for the weak or thinned skinned, in fact I think it is the hardest business in the world. Just think about it, if I had put that much time into being a doctor or lawyer I'd be just that, guaranteed. There are no guarantees in Hollywood. So you definitely have to respect anyone who sacrifices their life for their dreams because most people don't have the balls to do it.

I've seen so many people come and go. I've lost some friends who let Hollywood change them and they became intolerable to be around. I've seen some play themselves out on reality shows (for the 15 minutes of famers) and I have seen some, well one particular friend, Kanye, blow up right before my eyes. I still can remember me and him riding on his scooters and no one knew who he was. We were two crazy kid-like gemini's having a blast and he still had his wire in his mouth from that near death car accident. The following year, EVERYONE knew who he was. He is definitely a huge inspiration and no... we were just friends not lovers and he has not changed to this day. He was that arrogant/cocky guy even without the fame and fortune lol! But at the same time he is also a sweet heart. My homie for life and his mother was such a beautiful spirit.

After all these years I am still motivated to go to the next level. I've taken time off here and there to regroup but I'm still here baby. I just booked a commercial so you should be seeing that soon and I am finishing up a script I have been working on all year. I gave myself a deadline sense I am my own boss. Dec. 31st. Then I will be on to the next one... which is a book. I have a production company now and soon will be producing my own films. I'm also reading other people's scripts because the next project I act on will be the type of project I am very proud of. No need to do just 'any' role anymore. 2010 is looking pretty good. I'm doing it MY WAY.